Just a reminder, in case some posts on your social media feed seem too good (or too bizarre) to be true today: It’s April Fools’ Day.
Some of Milwaukee and Wisconsin’s most well-known brands got in on the joke with technically untrue, but nonetheless entertaining, announcements.
Greg Marcus announces full-length films coming to Kwik Trip gas pump screens
In a brief video posted to Kwik Trip’s social media pages this morning, Marcus Theatres president and CEO Greg Marcus “announced” that full-length movies would be coming to Kwik Trip gas pump screens. Kwik Trip called the imaginary partnership “The Midwest collab of the century.”
“Now you can watch a 10-second banana ad and the entire three hours and 15 minutes of ‘Titanic,'” Marcus said in the video before unfolding a lawn chair and settling down in front of the gas pump. To make the viewing experience even better, Marcus said Kwik Trip will let guests bring their own popcorn.
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Bublr Bikes introduces old-timey bicycles
In an article posted to its site and social media pages, OnMilwaukee jokingly reported that 144 old-timey, big-wheeled bicycles, known as “penny-farthings,” would be joining the Bublr Bikes bike-share fleet.
Renters can “choose a standard rental or the bonus package which provides a user with a big-wheeled penny-farthing, a bowler hat, a three-piece suit, a corncob pipe and a yellowed newspaper with headlines touting the upcoming 1904 World’s Fair,” the article joked.
Turner Hall Ballroom to organize concert-goers by height
The Pabst Theater Group declared on social media this morning that, effective immediately, attendees at Turner Hall Ballroom would be organized by height, with those 5’2″ and under closest to the stage and those who are taller at the back.
“This initiative will be progressively introduced, beginning with Turner Hall Ballroom, and subsequently implemented across all Pabst Theater Group venues, including the Miller High Life Theatre, Riverside Theater, Pabst Theater, and the Vivarium, over the year,” the theater group joked. “Please be advised that this format will impact both standing and seated performances.”
Some commenters, mainly those of shorter stature, were somewhat disappointed that the new seating chart wasn’t real while others were confused how friends of different heights would attend concerts together.
Third Space Brewing to release alcoholic ‘Hard Milk’
Milwaukee’s Third Space Brewing jokingly announced a recent, alternative alcoholic beverage today, “Hard Milk.” In a social media post, the brewery shared that the drink, which comes in a milk carton, contains 2% milk and 7% alcohol by volume.
“Joining the alternative alcoholic beverage game the most Wisconsin way we know how,” Third Space said. “Look for recent Hard Milk from Third Space Brewing, coming to a store near you this spring!”
Fox Crossing police introduce new emotional support gator
The Fox Crossing Police Department in east-central Wisconsin announced the arrival of its first “therapy animal,” a baby alligator named Mick, on Facebook this morning. The small reptile was even given a badge and uniform and took photos with officers.
“After many months of demanding training, Mick is ready to be deployed full time and give us some much-needed snuggles to melt away the stress of a hectic career in law enforcement!” the department wrote in the April Fools’ Day post. “He’ll continue to undergo instruction and certifications to become an undoubtedly elite emotional support animal and the pride of FCPD.”
Milwaukee Sports and Social schedules clothing-free outdoor yoga
Milwaukee Sports and Social, the popular adult rec sports league, jokingly announced a recent addition to its typical line-up of bowling, soccer and pickleball: co-ed, clothing-free outdoor yoga.
“Following TONS of player feedback, we are finally giving players their #1 most requested league!” Sports and Social proclaimed.
The theoretical meet-up was scheduled for Saturdays from 10 to 11 a.m. at the Pulaski Park soccer pitch. Even pets are welcome … as long as they’re under 30 pounds. However, there was no mention of how attendees should fight indecent exposure charges should they arise.
Better Together Cafe debuts non-alcoholic Bloody Mary milkshake
South Milwaukee’s Better Together Cafe posted yesterday that it would kick off April with an interesting new addition to the menu ― a non-alcoholic Bloody Mary milkshake. The recipe features “creamy sweet gelato blended perfectly with Zing-Zang bloody mix and topped with a celery stick, pickle, cheese and salami,” according to the cafe’s social media post.
Better Together admitted the shake was an April Fools’ joke this morning and announced its real new menu item: a peanut butter and candy Brewers-themed shake, complete with a waffle cone baseball glove and a rock candy bat. However, the Bloody Mary shake isn’t entirely a joke. It’s available April 1 only at the cafe, according to the Brewers shake post.
